Day’s YA: I CAN’T BELIEVE I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND

I CAN’T BELIEVE I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND: More Romantic Tragedies of a Drama King by Harry Trevaldwyn
9781250366825
1/26/2027 
Wednesday Books 
Ages 13–18 

E-galley available on Edelweiss

Grab your salted hot chocolate and tuck in, because it’s time for another soap starring Patch Simmons! In I CAN’T BELIEVE I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND: More Romantic Tragedies of a Drama King, Patch is back and just as extra as before as he strives to manufacture an epic, cinematic first romance.

After his most recent theatrical venture, Patch has had his first (and a half, depending on how you count) kiss. He’s settled firmly in one corner of his love triangle, so it should be smooth sailing toward true love from here—if Patch can manage to step ever so slightly out of his own way. A gloriously cringey lack of self-awareness is a tremendous part of Patch’s charm, and it leads to laugh-out-loud moments as he struggles to define what he and Sam actually are—without putting words in his adorkable romantic prospect’s mouth.

Patch’s drama club receives devastating news in the new year—there will be no production this term. A short film contest comes to the rescue as a creative outlet but shuffles up Patch’s friend group, putting him back in proximity to Peter, a.k.a. the scorned American corner of their love triangle (and Sam’s roommate). They valiantly try to make a go of it as friends without hurting Sam, but Patch ends up with far more romance-related questions than answers. Is it possible to be chill in front of someone he’s kissed? Does his blue coat make him look like he’s skinned Cookie Monster? And, most importantly, does he have a boyfriend?

I CAN’T BELIEVE I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND is one part HEARTSTOPPER and 525,600 parts delightfully delusional theater kid. It has all the queer drama club drama of THE BREAKUP LISTS combined with tender low stakes, which Patch always elevates to Olympian proportions. 

Patch’s support system is evergreen and excellent fun. It includes Ms. Becket, the English teacher he’s made into an unwilling confidante. Patch liberally applies her motto for putting things in perspective, “it’s only bloody cake.” Though he doesn’t quite internalize it, it’s nevertheless exceptionally sage advice. Less helpful is the wisdom that comes from outdated self-help books sourced from his put-upon mother, who’s finally trying to put herself back out there. Patch’s best friend Jean is a human’s human and an endless well of encouragement as Patch and his ex-ex-friend Tessa go on parallel journeys of queer romantic discovery. Patch’s misadventures as he tries all the things will resonate with readers trying to find their thing. His experiments will give teens ideas for things they might like to try out for themselves (calming whale noise soundtracks, salsa dancing, hosting a bougie dinner party) and a longer list of those to avoid at all costs: black coffee, spin the bottle, staging a coup in a cake-decorating class, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 

Though Patch’s life is often a train wreck going up in plumes of rainbow-colored smoke, he’s an excellent role model for living and loving authentically at top volume!

Happy reading!
<3 Jadyn

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